I just finished writing a pretty poetic blog about forest fires. I wrote about how it flares up from something and rages and burns and firefighters swoop in to put it out, but the damage caused by the fire is far from over. I thought I was pretty cleverly about to make an analogy about pain and loss and recovery. And then I thought of all of you.
I thought of the actual people I help through pain, loss and recovery. I thought about how unique their stories are and how very delicate they can be while in the process of moving through their very specific situation. They often tell me the deep pain of the things they hear around them and how hard it is to always take steps forward. I didn’t want to minimize their pain with some cheap metaphor.
I thought of my friends that I have watched suffer pain and loss. Some of them I so deeply admire for how strong and brave they seem to have been. Others I know I grow frustrated with because I watch their pain turn them into anxious or bitter versions of themselves. I didn’t want to make sweeping generalizations that might make the strong feel cheap and the sour feel justified.
I thought of people that I know who have recognized their bitterness and long to be free from it. I know how scared they are to trust, still feeling the tenderest parts of their pain. I wouldn’t want to injure them with judgment that might spill out of my mouth before I had time to remember their face.
It’s true, this blog is nice and all. And sometimes it’s fun for me to write. It’s really fun when you comment and share. But this blog is not what I do. This blog is not therapy. This blog is not what you long for. It’s not what I long for.
You probably long for connection. You probably long for someone to listen to your story, see you for who you are and sit unflinchingly with you while you work through the tender sensitive and highly specific situation you have found yourself in. You want company. You want a guide.
I can’t do anything for you from here. These are words on a screen. These are a specific collection of 000s and 111s that create images in your mind. Blogs aren’t people, they are the residue a person leaves behind. Demand better than a blog. Demand healing. Demand therapy.